I arrived here in Florida the first week of July 2015. My intent was to start a new life with someone that I had known in my younger years, but had been out of touch with for quite some time. We had reconnected and made the decision to take a chance on being together. Prior to moving here, I was in Phoenix with my mom. She had wanted to move somewhere warm, and also wanted something new. Because of the type of work that I was doing, getting work literally anywhere, was not an issue. So we threw our belongings into a storage unit back in Seattle (of which is still there today), where we were living at the time, and made our way to Phoenix. Things were a bit tighter than we had imagined. Originally my mom was going to just hop a bus and go there on her own. The thought of her being alone in that town without a certain place to stay, made me uneasy. So I decided that if she was potentially going to be homeless for any reason, that I would be there with her. It turns out that’s exactly what happened. The first 21 days we were there, we lived out of my truck, alternating nights in hotels for a refresh.
Getting back to Florida. As I said, while in Phoenix, I made communications with someone and she lived here. Again, since my work allows it, we packed up and moved here to Saint Petersburg. In a matter of six months, I lost that partnership and gained a job that I didn’t completely want. You see, I took a job for her because it made her more comfortable that I had a “real job” that seemed “stable”. I was working towards repairing the relationship. I figured the job and other material things would do that. It turns out we just weren’t ready for each other. About three months ago, that job was no longer an option. I started working remotely from home for a company that I had done work for in the past. It provides income, but not really enough to sustain much of anything.
So here’s what I’m getting at. I am about to make a big change in my life. A change that scares me!! Moves don’t usually scare me…in fact I usually invite them with open arms, like hugging someone you haven’t seen in a while. I’ve always had the travel itch. I’ve been blessed to have traveled as much as I have, but I’ve also always felt alone or as if I’m missing something. This time in particular, will be a new start for ME. One that should’ve happened years ago. In 2007, a woman whom I loved more than I have ever loved anyone, died. It nearly killed me. I always thought that I was ok, but it turns out that I am not. I have been running from myself for ten long years. It’s time for a rebirth! I owe it to myself to finally give myself what I want and need. Permission to move on. To truly and fully move on. It’s been nearly three years since I came here to Florida, and it has been a rough ride. It’s time I focus on me and really build that life that I want.
I hope it works out…